friendship porn

by Yours Are the Only Ears

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about

melodrama from my teen years
demo recordings from summer 2014

friendship porn (is)
sometimes things happen that you could never even imagine
no one seems to fully understand & you begin to blame
yourself while convincing yourself that everyone else
is blaming you too. it's hard to live with this knowledge
socializing becomes an exercise in self preservation -
living alone in the wasteland, but afraid to give out
your address - o! but it feels good to receive mail.
you recall those who have sent you letters on your
long journey to the wasteland - those who have known
the promised land - the feather you placed under
3 stones & wonder if it's still there - or if they
wonder where you have gone. also the eyes
staring back at you & looking away
i didn't want anyone to look
but i never thought i would know what it feels
like to be pushed into a ditch
luckily feathers remain
and i flown away ---

some of the very first songs i ever wrote
recorded later in life & released even later

credits

released July 26, 2016

all songs written by Susannah Cutler
& recorded by Emily Sprague
arranged by Susannah Cutler & Emily Sprague
Susannah Cutler plays guitar, bass, keyboard, & sings
Emily Sprague plays guitar & keyboard
David Cutler plays upright bass
Felix Walworth plays drums on "heart of hearts"

drawings & text by Susannah Cutler
photographs by ♡ India Salvor Menuez ♡

be sure to check out the individual track art & poetry
♡ Susannah

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Yours Are the Only Ears Brooklyn, New York

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Track Name: eros
i can't stop thinking about you
vandalized my rib cage and
kissed the walls of my staircase

you lit up the night sky
so i

naturally
naturally
naturally
let you fly

your bones sewn to feather
wings of fur and leaves and leather
swollen bodies
stolen hearts
guilty feelings
passionate thoughts

dripping blood you leave a trail
dripping blood you cast a spell

you stole the flame
i remembered your name
i used the brush
to paint the lust

your lips breathe smoke and secrecy
so you

unwillingly
unwillingly
unwillingly
let me sleep

you woke up the sleeping sky
so i

regrettably
regrettably
regrettably
let you fly

your bones sewn to feather
wings of fur and leaves and leather
swollen bodies
stolen hearts
guilty feelings
passionate thoughts

dripping blood you leave a trail
dripping blood you cast a spell
Track Name: venus
we were just
children
holding hands
to hang on
and our bodies are
destructive
but isolation
feels wrong
although our room is a closet
we feel like we belong

but i am not yours
and you are not mine
i'm sorry i forget that sometimes
i'm sorry i forget that sometimes

i can feel your guilt
fill your temper
i know that we both can
persuade the other

but when you blow too hard
i become nothing
but the silence is a scar
from before i heard you sing

but i am not yours
and you are not mine
i'm sorry i forget that sometimes
i'm sorry i forget that sometimes

i'll put away my last breath
before you come home
and if it's not too late
i'll tell you
that i'm happy
and you're not alone
Track Name: my only moon
i want to
evolve into
a loving force
your favorite chords

i want to
become like you
are my only moon
suffocate the light

but your strength
is not my curse
it's a love so pure
in this ugly world

never goodnight
suffocate the light
you are my moon

but my water is so dirty
i can't let go of anything...
Track Name: heart of hearts
i walk
with your blessing like a curse
i bike around until my stomach hurts
sitting on a curb
rotting in the dirt

you love
to plant my photograph
i'm just a picture of my past
in your milky eyes
i'm the wildflower that you killed that night

your wisdom is a crystal
a charming manipulation
a privileged creation
but i'll
holy my own hand
and won't
burn every bridge
just because i can

i watch
as you climb a tree
sitting patiently
your tireless flame
conquers everything

crying
in the elevator
your violence and my silence
harmonize
as i descend
so you can be alone with him
again

your wisdom is a crystal
a charming manipulation
a privileged creation
but i'll
holy my own hand
and won't
burn every bridge
just because i can.
Track Name: alone bear
our hands are colors when they break now
and the pile is smiling at me break down

and i can't bear it alone
alone bear swear you won't
ask me to leave

but i want to leave
more than anything

and our hair can conquer being obvious
cuz misery is my face
and it is hideous

and i can't bear it alone
alone bear swear you won't
ask me to leave

but i want to leave
more than anything